FAMILY-STATUS: The Six Relations


As soon as our basic 'safety' and effectiveness in dealing with the Id (or Unconscious Mind) has been established by our Ray-Identity psychic "strand," we begin to cultivate contact with our Libido, which can be described as OUR RELATIONSHIP "ROLE" IN THE HUMAN 'FAMILY.' This "strand" of Self-Identity is reflected in our actual "role" within the genetic family itself.. which is why so many behavioral and psychological problems trace their origins to early family-life conflicts. Unless we attain a HAPPY "place" within the family, our place within Society, too, is held in 'suspended animation,' and we must heal our family-life conflicts before progressing socially.

We are born to a certain 'status' in our family by the simple 'order' of appearance; the eldest child is ALWAYS more 'fussed-over,' photographed in every possible pose, and otherwise treated as 'exemplary' than any siblings who might follow. This quite naturally teaches the eldest child that all they need to do in order to 'succeed' at their "role" in life is BE THEMSELVES.. while younger siblings must specialize more in order to get the same amount of "respect." This may seem 'cruel' or unfair (and it often is!,) but underlying it all is the Metaphysical Principle that WE ARRIVE IN LIFE IN THE SITUATION WHICH ACTUALLY REFLECTS WHO WE REALLY ARE.

That who we really are is invariably ONE OF THE CHILDREN.. no matter how old those children may become.. is a truth in itself. "As a little child you must come to me" our Spirit-Parent repeats in every philosophy of the world; for "Mother" and "Father" we may DO yet we cannot truly BE. Those Roles are reserved for the Fatherly Light and Mother Nature alone. Only by remembering our little Child-nature FOREVER can we know those parents fully, and receive their help in becoming what we are within their vast Family.

THE COSMIC TWIN.. or "Anima/Animus" as Carl Jung named it.. is the Mirror-Image of ourself, reflected as the opposite sex; and it is through this remarkable psychic 'appliance' that we gain control over our "Shaki" or Libidinal Forces, allowing us to evolve CONSCIOUSLY or DELIBERATELY into who and what we are becoming as that Eternal Child grows and adapts to changing conditions of life. Whatever you currently ARE as a personality and lifestyle, you may dream-of as the opposite sex; a man or woman who embodies everything you need to recognize about yourself right now. Facing this powerful Ally (and learning how to control it's influences over your life by relating with it accurately) is the "work" of this Phase of Individualization. We do that work by recognizing that our Cosmic Twin is our OWN reflection, and however we must relate with it in order to get through "the dream we are in right now," reflects where we are going next, in the "real world" of daily experiences. The Anima/Animus can be quite challenging to relate with!.. for it contains everything we have been ourselves up until now, and that can be hard to "face." But we can never really grow BEYOND that until we relate with the opposite-sex Mirror-Image called Anima or Animus, and SOMEHOW get him or her to "agree" upon changes needed for our future happiness. Thus, though Jung called it our Doorway into the Unconscious, this Opposite-Sex Twin is in fact our Key to Transformation.. of our personality itself as well as our relationship with the waking world of everyday Reality.

The following "Family Status Identity-strand" was discovered and refined as "the Six Relations" by the Metaphysicians of ancient China, who preserved it as 'the six Child Trigrams' of I CHING the Book Of Change. To find your place within the family is to find your Libidinal "role" in society itself; through which you will channel your psycho-sexual development throughout life.. with the help of your opposite-sex Dream-Reflection, the Cosmic Twin.

"Gong:" The Elder Son

Meaning "the Arousing" in Chinese, Gong denotes a Call To Action; and it is typical of this Family-Status to spend much of his thought and effort at DECIDING and DECLARING what actions are needed in the world. Far from a 'rabble-rouser' however, the Elder Son hold himself with a Kingly dignity and reserved strength as befits one of his Status.. and it is through EXAMPLE that he speaks the loudest.

"Gong" is symbolized in the Chinese Classics as THUNDER.. which shocks and arouses all who hear it.

As a Libido-nature, Gong bestows an Arousing Power that needs no action to give it influence over others; the Elder Son may simply BE THERE and his attractions are felt and responded to. This may SEEM like 'posing' or self-display, but truly is not; rather it is EXAMPLE pure and simple. Whether an Example of Size, Strength, Majesty, Wisdom or Gentle Regard, every Elder Son uses the magnetic force of Example to draw others to him.. and Arouses them to find his company good. Strangely, we all DO!!

The most telling trait of personality of the Elder Son is his DUTIFUL SERVICE to the Family; others may take action 'because they thought of it' or 'because they wanted to' now and again.. but the Elder Son takes action to help the other Children and the Parents also BECAUSE HE "SHOULD." This is not a moral precept to him, but a NEED: how else could he BE an Example for younger children to grow by?

Naturally, the Anima-Twin of the Elder Son is herself an Example of Dutiful Service, reflected-back as the opposite sex. How to help her solve the problems, limitations and stresses she shows him in Dream, is a clue to his own inner transformations in life, right now. Together, he and she ARE Libido brought under control.

To truly understand the Elder Son you must know his relation to HIS PARENTS. Click-on them to learn his "Devotions."

"Sowing:" The Elder Daughter

Meaning "the Penetrating" in Chinese, Sowing denotes a Gentle Spreading Of Life, such as tossing plant-seeds into the air, where the wind may "sow" them wherever they fall. This Broadcasting of Good Wishes is the Way of the Elder Daughter.. who (lacking the strength of her brothers) has found her OWN way of Influencing Things.. by casting her gifts upon the wind. She does not 'force' her opinions upon others, but merely Broadcasts them gently into the air, and those who CAN receive them, DO. Oddly-enough, that usually turns-out to be EXACTLY who she 'aimed' them at!

"Sowing" is symbolized in the Chinese Classics as both THE WIND and WOOD.. for trees bend under the Wind, and are Swayed by it just as all in the Family are swayed by the breezes that blow from the Gentle Sister. Happy and Serene as a rule, she Broadcasts her own Happiness and Serenity.. along with carefully-thought "seeds of future action" that she WISHES others would take. Gentle is her Penetration!.. yet the seeds DO grow, and her will is done; for WHO CAN DENY THE WIND or turn it away?!

As a Libido-nature, Sowing bestows a Cleansing and Healing Air filled with Good Intent and Fine Suggestions; this cool yet sincere Way of Loving others sways those she Loves yet leaves them FREE to 'sprout' with affection or NOT as their nature would have it. Serenely and Gently the Elder Daughter herself walks in the Wind, and those who WISH TO may walk beside her. That is HER WAY of sharing Love.

The most familiar trait of personality in the Elder Daughter is her Gentle but irresistible INTENT; her good intentions toward all in the Family makes her "noble" to them, and all love her for loving them!

Naturally, the Animus-Twin of the Elder Daughter is a Mirror-Image reflection of Intent, broadcast to the world.. expressed as a male who embodies all of the traits that the Elder Daughter is right now trying to transform in herself. How she relates with this Dream-Ally in order to help him broadcast or "sow" RIGHTLY is a clue to her own emerging self-evolution in the daily world of ordinary Reality. Together, she and he are Libido, Harnessed into service of the Soul.

To truly understand the Elder Daughter you must know her relation to HER PARENTS. Click-on them to learn her "Devotions."

"Canyon:" The Middle Son

Meaning "the Dangerous" in Chinese, Canyon denotes a Dangerous Chasm where only the very brave would tread; and it is typical of this Family-Status to tread all Paths which frighten others, and find a Path by which to lead others through dangers that he has mastered. While this may seem a bad way of life, it is NOT; it is simply the Way of the Middle Son.. who walks where his Elders dared not. Some who walk such Paths become harsh and fearsome themselves; but many others are made even more kindly by the unkind ground they have walked-upon.

"Canyon" is symbolized in the Chinese Classics as FAST-FLOWING WATER in a dangerous defile.. which calls for great skill and courage to negotiate.

As a Libido-nature, Canyon bestows a Fearsome Strength that both attracts and frightens others; people sense the Mastery and Passion it takes to tread such Paths, and are drawn to the Masters hand. Many seek a Guide through Love's dangerous Waters, and only the Middle Son knows the Way; consequently he is often called-upon to teach others how to handle the scorching heat and dangerous currents of Libido's sexual energies. Because he has felt them at their strongest, the Middle son teaches gently.. and even those who will not stay long in his domain are GLAD of his skill and safe company within it.

While he may lack the majesty of his elders as well as the steadfast purpose of younger brothers, the Middle Son has one trait they do NOT: he Knows The Dangers and how to avert them. Consequently, he is the Counselor for the whole Family.. and called-upon whenever Danger is near.

Naturally, the Anima-Twin of the Middle Son is also a Dangerous and Fearsome Strength! Learning to recognize that she is not a "monster" who is trying to control his Soul can be challenging to the Middle Son; but eventually he must learn that she is simply HE HIMSELF, IN THE MIRROR OF SELF-TRANSFORMATION. How he deals with her in Dreams, to stay on the Right Path through the Dreamscape of the moment, is a clue to his own Self-Transformations right now. Together, this powerful "odd-couple" are the Middle Son's Libido, Controlled.

To truly understand the Middle Son you must know his relation to HIS PARENTS. Click-on them to learn his "Devotions."

"Ally:" The Middle Daughter

Meaning "the Clinging" in Chinese, Ally denotes a Flame clinging to the wood it is burning-upon; warm, lively and full of hypnotic seductions, Flame is that which tamed the wilderness for man, and helped us civilize our life from wild creatures into orderly, settled communities. That is the Role of the Middle Daughter: through her hot and lively 'dance' of affection for those she loves, she brings harmony into the home and keeps the fires of Passion alight.

"Ally" is symbolized in the Chinese Classics as FIRE which gives-off both Warmth and Light for life to be comforted by. But Fire cannot burn alone: the Middle Daughter MUST 'cling' to her Partner as Fire clings to Wood. Consequently, she needs a Lover in order to fully Love; a Home in order to 'shine' within; and an eager Partner in order to Ally with them and fulfill her Way of Loving.. which is Hot, Bright, Lively and incapable of Life without PASSION.

As a Libido-nature, Ally bestows a Clinging Intimacy that surrounds and 'consumes' the passions of those they love; she sets them on Fire, and dances around them joyously, giving-off warmth and light. She starts this early in life, and perfects it in devoted Alliance with her chosen Loved Ones.. those who have the strength-of-limb and substantiality to fuel her Fires best. Fire may 'spread' from one log to enwrap others as well.. but she does not abandon what makes her burn; loyal and devoted indeed is the Ally who tames the savage and gives him a happy Home!

The Middle Daughter, being by nature a Partner, does not naturally start things on her own; she relies upon others to begin their growing; then she takes-fire clinging TO them. Solitary, she is lost and her light dims.. and only another Strong Limb can comfort her. At first she may seem to 'cling' to them helplessly; but she does NOT: her Light and Warmth simply REQUIRE FUEL.. and only a Partner can give her that.

Naturally, the Animus-Twin of the Middle Daughter is her OWN mirror-reflected Clinging Fire, which she must learn to relate with accuratly in order to grow as a personality. Whether the Animus is an irresistable Lover whose Fire threatens to consume her, an Elusive Lover who refuses to "warm-up" to her.. or whatever else the moment's self-growth calls for in in her own Self-Transformation.. he and she TOGETHER are merely a reflection of Libido, self-governed to get her through the Real World of Tomorrow.

To truly understand the Middle Daughter you must know her relation to HER PARENTS. Click-on them to learn what "Fuels" her Devotions.

"Calm:" The Younger Son

Meaning "the Immoveable" in Chinese, Calm denotes a Mountain rising above the plains; solid, immoveable and strong.. and it is typical of this Family-Status to be the Bulwark and Bastion which all other family-members can rely upon to simply BE THERE unchanged by time or passing circumstances. STEADFAST as a rock, the Younger Son cannot be pushed-aside, changed in his determination or driven back by any effort; unblinking and unflinching he will Calmly Endure and REMAIN THERE; you may walk around him or climb over him and that is ALL you can about him.

"Calm" is symbolized in the Chinese Classics as a MOUNTAIN-PEAK which stands as a Landmark AND a Barrier against invasion.. which all others must change their course to deal with. The Mountain-spirited Younger Son is the STEADFAST STRENGTH of the Family.

As a Libido-nature, Calm bestows a "perspective;" being high above the plains, the Younger Son can see clearly what all others are doing, and calmly he watches their actions for signs of their Intent. His vantage may give him insight into the approach of one he loves, and patiently, calmly he can await their progress toward him; but once attracted, his Steadfast Strength will not be changed: he will "win" the contest of affection, for He Will Not Be Moved!

Loyalty and enduring values typify this Libido-nature. While others may falter in their affections or tire of their 'role' toward others, the Younger Son will not.. for he would never have taken-on anything that was not as Enduring as his own Strength. Like he himself, his Love is LIKE A ROCK.

Naturally, the Anima-Twin of the Younger Son is also a Rock!.. an Immoveable Object which reflects back to him whatever traits he himself is learning to Transform right now in his own personality and lifestyle. Whatever traits she shows him in Dream.. from Fickleness to Flint-heartedness or impatient rage.. is simply HIM, talking to HIM. Together, he and she are merely the Harnessing of Libido for governing himself through Self-Transformation. Sometimes it takes a LOT of pressure from her, to "Move his Mountain".. but she has the power it takes!

To truly understand the Younger Son you must know his relation to HIS PARENTS. Click-on them to learn his "Devotions."

"Toy:" The Younger Daughter

Meaning "the Joyous" in Chinese, Toy denotes a Lake full of fishes, swaying reeds and water flowers; life plays among the marsh-reeds like children with their Toys!.. and it is this Joyous Play which typifies the Younger Daughter. Like a Water Nymph, she entices us to Dive In and sport ourselves in the waves, and dally with her in the mossy shade by the banks. All people enjoy such Play; but it is only the Younger Daughter who LIVES IT as a lifestyle.

"Toy" is symbolized in the Chinese Classics as a LAKE to which all creatures come for water, the essence of life; such is her Playful Joyousness that all who come near her wish to remove some of their clothes and splash-about with her like a Toy. But she is NOT a 'toy' nor does she 'toy' with affections; her Play is that of LOVE, and it is Pleasure that is her plaything. She knows how to make Love FUN; and that is the Toy she shares with the whole Family.

As a Libido-nature, Toy bestows a Joyous Pleasure that is contagious; being around her gives us ideas!, and we begin planning Outings and Special Occasions to give free reign to our pent-up Playfulness. The Younger Daughter is the favorite fantasy of Harem-keepers!, for who would NOT like several such Toying Pleasers in the seraglio? But her Play goes beyond dalliance and mere pleasure-seeking; to her it is the very secret of Life itself.. for she knows that the Lake of Life was filled with such Pleasure TO KEEP US LAUGHING AND CARE-FREE. Anything that tries to stop the laughter or burden her with cares she will either playfully tickle in the ribs or splash in the face with her water!.. for SHE WILL NOT BE SAD. That alone is against her 'law' which is JOY and only joy.

Naturally, the Animus-Twin of the Younger Daughter is a mirror-reflection of her own Joyous Pleasure, embodied even though he may not look it in SOME Dreams! Sometimes he may be completely UN-pleased, UN-joyous or un-LOVELY; but it is all just the Mirror, showing her what she herself is facing in herself right now. How she relates with him, to solve the un-happy Dream-scenario, is a clue to her OWN impending Self-Transformation right now. Whatever it takes to make them BOTH happy is Tomorrow, Defined. Together, he and she are Libido Controlled, the source of Tomorrow's JOY.

To truly understand the Younger Daughter you must know her relation to HER PARENTS. Click-on them to learn what "joys" SHE is devoted-to.

"Taking After The Mother And Father"

A final detail of this Identity-strand (and a VERY crucial one in Libido-formation,) is WHICH OF OUR PARENTS WE MOST 'TAKE-AFTER.' While we certainly all share many traits of both parents, ONE WILL DOMINATE IN OUR PERSONALITY-DEVELOPMENT.. and that Parent represents for the rest of our lives THE "IDEAL" TOWARD WHICH OUR LIBIDO IS "AIMED."

Like most things in life, however, our Parental Roles are a SYMBOL; they reflect not only Male and Female traits, but also great Principles of Nature identified by ancient China as "the Parent Trigrams" of I CHING, the Book Of Change. A full understanding of one's Libido-type INCLUDES one of the following two "directions" of FOCUS:-

"KING:" The Heavenly

Those of any Family-Status born to "serve" the Heavenly Parent (or Father) REGARDLESS OF THEIR GENDER or their GENDER-PREFERENCE sexually, are more focused on SPIRITUAL rather than Material concerns. They tend to use their material resources for the service of Ideals rather than "pleasures" for themselves or others; and accumulate mostly TALENTS rather than 'things.'

Strongly focused on SERVICE TO THE SPIRIT and Society, the Son or Daughter of Heaven views the material world as their Workplace.. while their real "home" remains among the stars from whence their Parental King sent them into the world FOR A WHILE, on a mission of World-Service.

"QUEEN:" The Earthly

Those of any Family-Status born to "serve" the Earthly Parent (or Mother) REGARDLESS OF THEIR GENDER or their GENDER-PREFERENCE sexually, are more focused on BIOLOGICAL rather than Philosophical concerns. They tend to channel their spiritual gifts into the service of PHYSICAL WELLBEING rather than "enlightenment" for themselves and others; and accumulate HELPFUL THINGS more than "ideals" to share with those whom they love.

Strongly focused on SERVICE TO HUMAN HAPPINESS and Society, the Son or Daughter of Earth views the spiritual world as their Workplace.. while their real "home" remains among the living creatures of the world.. into which Mother Nature called them to help her caretake her children.


We are each WHAT WE ARE and nothing more or less. Learning to LOVE what we were born to be is WISDOM. We COULD each judge or dislike our unique Place or Status in the Universe; but WHY NOT TRUST THAT OUR MAKER WAS WISE in making us what we are?

How sad and boring our world would be if not for the Two Parents and the Six Relations between their offspring! Whatever you are, you have a PLACE given you to occupy.. which no one else could do even half as well. Trust it and HAPPILY tell the world, "I AM A MIDDLE SON OF HEAVEN" (or whatever you happen to be!,) "AND THERE IS NOTHING BETTER TO BE THAN THAT (for me!")