Spirit & Despair
Whether it is the loss of a loved one, the ending of a relationship, or unexpectedly losing a job, we are most often left feeling as though our souls have shattered. Loss, grief, and despair come tumbling down on us all at once when the sense of reality as we knew it, collapses beneath our feet. Grief that we can do nothing to change it and the despair at feeling so incredibly vulnerable leaves us with our spirit laid bare. Then, predictably, come the words of wisdom offered with good intention (yet to no avail), "Everything happens for a reason". As we try not to choke the sweet soul with the good intention, we smile and miserably think to ourselves, 'what is the reason in this?'
I have walked the path of grief and despair in many ways and along that path I have had the voices of condolence tell me, "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger". I smiled, while I winced inside, and thought, 'how strong do I have to be?' Another voice of compassion told me that God wouldn't give to me more than I could take. Again, I thanked the voice of wisdom and wondered what on Earth was God's great plan to lay all this on ME?
Life to me has come to be about the two things that we can take with us when we pass into the great beyond; wisdom and love - which ultimately cannot be achieved alone. It is about our choices here to learn by embracing that naked vulnerability of our souls, or to stagnate by choosing to close ourselves off from that crucial part of us by becoming bitter and spiteful. We grieve because we love that which has gone. Despair comes from feeling utterly alone in our grief.
It is true that in the midst of that darkest hour that we see neither reason nor end to it all. Only when we see someone who is struggling with their own grief, do we find the "reason", the strength and the compassion to reach out in love and help each other through this great circle of life.
Spirit is always there. At times when we feel great joy we feel as though we are soaring on the wings of Spirit. Even in the silent midst of grief, we can feel the gentle arms of Spirit that will carry us through.